I returned to Braganca, yet again, after the frustrating meeting I had there a few weeks ago about the land I have been trying to buy (for the Earth Collective project). This time, it was to see a rental house. After the viewing, and despite it’s suitability, the owners informed me they had changed their minds and were going to use it themselves. Very frustrating as I travelled three hours to see it.

As a consolation prize, I drove over to the land (which wasn’t far away) to bask in the energy of it and remind myself what it was all for. A foggy start had developed into a fabulously sunny day, and the views were incredible. Tears welled up in my eyes. The land and the context are spectacular. Snow adorned the distant mountains which glistened in the sun, and the warmth was a tonic after my overnight accommodation which was bone chillingly cold. I would have been warmer sleeping in the car!

Sadly, a week later, my attempts to buy the land juddered to a halt, and we reached an impasse. Disappointing to say the least. A huge amount of time has been spent in research and there have been many visits. But much has been learned too. You may recall the land was a mess (legally). Some bits of it were not in the seller’s name. Other sections had been swapped. A few were owned by a friend who pawned them to pay a debt and a yet other pieces were owned by people who lived in France (the children of elderly neighbours that had passed away).

Over time, I learned that less than half of the land that had been presented for sale, was owned by (or in the name of) the ‘seller’. At the meeting in his office, he promised to speak to the French people when they visited Portugal at the end of January, and assured me it would be good news. He was 100% certain he could buy the lands. However, in mid February, when I asked about progress, he confessed he hadn't been able to contact them. It turned out that the associate who knew their phone number had ‘evaporated’ in true Portuguese style. He would have to go to France to find them and that would increase the purchase price. Naturally, I informed him I would only pay the market value, and it was on him to incur whatever costs were necessary to get the land in order to sell. It then transpired that he wouldn't go to France unless I paid a deposit and signed a promissory note (the first stage of the purchase). For me, that was out of the question as there was no guarantee he would be able to locate the owners, let alone do a deal, and I wasn’t going to waste more time or money. Sadly, it was time to move on. What has been learned will hold me in good stead the next time around.

I admit to having a ‘pivotal moment’ shortly after this, wondering if I was even in the right country. But I have picked myself up and am now resolved to start again (for the forth time). As little land is officially on the market (most of what could be for sale is found through word of mouth), the priority is to find somewhere to live in the area, as quickly as possible.

To that end, I am returning tomorrow to view another rental. In fact, two viewings were arranged but as of yesterday, one has evaporated. It turned out that the siblings had been in dispute about how to carve up the inheritance of their parent’s house for 10 years. It is ridiculously feudal in Portugal (not unlike rural Ireland where I also spent time looking for land) and utterly exasperating. If only people would be straight. I spent an evening messaging back and forth (through translation) with one of the siblings who misrepresented the situation, and researching the location.

It's hard work finding peace in all this chaos. The sands are constantly shifting but I know this is a microcosm of the macrocosm. We are living in a time of relentless change and, for our sanity, there is no option but to find a way to be easy with it. Balance is everything. When we are emotionally balanced, the cells of our body are balanced and we cannot be ill. Balance also means we are connected to our instinct which is our best guidance in life (more on this in my book). And being balanced helps us to keep a perspective on what is going on and view it dispassionately. So, when it feels like we are in a whirlwind and being pushed and pulled every which way, the most important thing we can do for ourselves is to notice we are unbalanced and find ways to rectify this. Then a ‘divine helping hand’ can shine a light on the path for us. And we can be wayshowers for others too.

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