The last few weeks have been crazy, plus some! I bought a house in a week (which was a miracle), moved in 4 days later, and have been ‘fighting fires’ (to coin an expression) ever since. Extremely challenging but I have been taking it ‘one day at a time, and one challenge at a time’, as per my mantra. Every day has been pretty traumatic, but also miraculous in some small way too. What I was told about the house was certainly less than truthful, which I discovered through the countless issues that have arisen. Also, as I had no furniture or household appliances at all (since I have been a nomad for the past 5 years), I made 60 plus orders on line. It seemed the easiest solution as I didn’t know the area or where to get supplies. Orders ranged from a washing machine, sofa and light fittings, to toilet brushes. However, 'easy' was a fantasy. Ordering on line was massively problematic and extremely time consuming, and of course, subject to delays. Some deliveries simply didn’t arrive although the tracking said they had been signed for by a person I didn’t know, showing a location at the side of a highway! It turned out they were dumped in a shop in the local town and the only reason I got them, was because the shop owner was the daughter of a neighbour. As my address was in the neighbours’s village and I was the only newcomer, she figured out they were for me, and appeared with a car load of boxes after a trip to town.

It was another big deal getting electricity connected on the day I signed the deeds, as the property had been vacant for a few years and without any power. I was shunted from one office to another, across the town and back, to get a reference number for the property before I could open an account. Water was already connected but had to be changed into my name, which required a visit to the local municipality, along with the previous owner (age 90 - a challenge in itself). There were realms of paperwork and the whole process took well over an hour, including photocopying the deeds of the house. Finally, I was asked for my bank details but wait, there was more. I was asked to get confirmation from my bank that I was, in fact, the account holder and that couldn’t be done until the following day. Obviously the language impediment didn’t help, or the fact that dear Virginia (the old lady) knew the person at the municipality, a distant relative (everyone is related, or knows each other as it is a small locality) and there was much gossip to exchange in between form filling.

Two weeks have passed since I took up residence and the house is still a work in progress, though I am getting there. A friend is coming for a visit tomorrow, which was a deadline to try and achieve the impossible. I was in communication with her about the daily trials and tribulations, so rather than re-writing them, I will embellish the messages I sent her and share them with you. The whole process has been much harder that expected, but I believe everything is possible and live my life with the helping hand of divine intervention.

So, are you sitting comfortably?

……..“I am cleaning, not unpacked yet. No hot water. Something is wrong with the boiler which was only serviced last week. Also, a dreadful smell of diesel in the house when the boiler fires up. I always said, I would NEVER buy an old house again. The reasons why I bought this are valid, but still!! Last night rodents were having a party in the loft.”

“Day two - comings and goings all day at the small (mostly unused, so I am told) community centre across the street. Into the night people sitting out, drinking, and talking loudly in true Portuguese style – noise no problem! I had to close all the windows on that side of the house. How often is this going to happen? It’s concerning Honestly, the biggest purchase for most of us, is a house and we make it blind. You only know what you have once you have it! Turns out (unbeknown to me), it was national election day and the comings and goings were for voting. Phew!”

“Third day of being a cleaning slave. Just tackled the oven. Vile. The guy I paid to clean the house before I moved in, took my money and did sweet FA! Huge disappointment. I was hoping to avoid having to do a major clean myself. On the bright side, at least he took the top layer of filth off - in some places. Other places, windows, oven, stove, he didn't even try. So many things are broken. A toilet flush doesn’t work, a shower head is missing in one bathroom and the other shower is growing vegetation and mold which I haven’t been able to completely eradicate, so I am not up for using it. This means strip washing at the sink in cold water, as the hot water isn’t working either. Then there is a leaking sink, a dodgy kitchen tap and I don’t have a fridge as the internet order was cancelled three times due to ‘payment difficulties’, despite my bank confirming the payment was authorised. I am sleeping on the floor as the futons and mattresses haven’t arrived.”

“This evening, I tried the oven for the first time, and it blew the power for the whole house. I reset the fuse board but when I tried the oven a second time to be sure that was the problem, I couldn’t re-set it. So, at 8.30pm, I had no lights. I messaged the guy from the electricity company who had connected the power, and asked if he could help me. He couldn’t, but he messaged a man who lives in the same village as me and told him what he thought the problem was. The electrician and his wife (who spoke a little English, bonus) came half an hour later. There were two issues, as it turned out. The first was that the fuse box capacity didn’t match the tariff I selected. He upgraded it. The second was the ancient oven was not working properly hence short-circuiting the power. The electrician pulled the stove out and fiddled with the wiring, but was unable to fix it. So, that is tomorrow’s challenge. He wouldn't take any money. So kind. He said ‘we are neighbours and we help each other’. Will make chocolate truffles for him, as a thank you (since I don’t need an oven for that).”

“Have washed the floors throughout the whole house several times and they are dirty again because the plumber and the gas man walked all over it in outdoor shoes. It was a step too far to ask them to remove their shoes and wear the clogs I bought for guests, using my translation device that was nearly out of juice and only working intermittently. A woman's work is never done….as my mother used to say!”

“Just had a massive delivery, two in one. Washing machine and wooden futon bases. Man with a van parked on the slope outside the house and, as I greeted him, the van starting rolling down the street under the weight of the goods it contained for me. Funny and scary, watching him run after it. He managed to jump in and reapply the handbrake. He asked me to find help to unload. But only two buxom elderly woman were available. They eyed me up and down thinking I was a stick insect by comparison to them and might break if I exerted myself, so gestured me to stand aside. They heaved the washer up the steps, while the man pulled it from the front. Short legs and large bottoms working hard. It was a scene to behold! Now, I am dragging a rug over the stone floor of the house, with the heavy boxes containing futon bases, so as not to damage my already injured back.”

“Found a local company to supply a fridge. It arrived today. Nightmare! Meant to be low noise, a priority for me with my ridiculously sensitive hearing. But it’s the noisiest fridge I have ever had and will have to go back. They won’t like it.”

“Finally got hot water but the diesel fumes are a major problem when the boiler is on, especially in the kitchen and patio (next to the kitchen). The flue on the kitchen roof is too low (I expect a cost cutting measure when the heating was installed). I have to shut all windows on that side of the house when it’s firing up, and limit to just 15 mins a day. Gives me enough hot water (almost) for evening and morning showers.”

“A day of plumbing fixes, including a new shower and clean new seals. Hurray! However, plumber discovered the condenser in the newish boiler is broken, and the boiler is leaking oil, hence smell of diesel is coming from inside as well as outside. The boiler is located in the basement, down some stairs from the kitchen. Beggars belief how the boiler was OK just a week ago, when he serviced it, before I moved in?!”

“Another day of problem solving and trying to fine help. Someone who had an hour to spare, put the futon bases together. The fridge man then arrived to see investigate the problem. Grumpy. Nothing wrong with it, in his opinion. But it is faulty, in mine. So he is sending a technician from the manufacturer to look at it, or so he says. A man came to quote for putting up a guttering over the entrance steps, so I don't get soaked when I walk out the front door when it’s raining. As he left, a fuel delivery arrived for the boiler, followed by a huge truck load of wood. Probably enough for two years! The man, who yesterday brought me a gas cylinder for the cooker hob, today accompanied by his wife (who runs the village cafe) and the buxom lady from next door, unloaded ALL the wood into the basement for me. Unbelievable. I am in awe of their kindness. More chocolate truffles coming up. I know they have a vested interest, as I am a new one-person economy for the village. But really, it is the spirit of community at work, just as it should be and long since forgotten.”

“Another visit from the plumber, this time to extend the flue on the kitchen roof. I fire up the boiler to test it and it still smells of diesel. The flue is at maximum height to be stable in the wind, but not at the required 50cm above the crest of the roof, which would solve the problem. He said I will have to live with it. I say I won’t. What happens when I have guests and need more hot water, or when the heating has to be on for a lot of time in the winter? I can’t keep the everything closed, and the patio is my only outdoor space. My feeling is he will have to go higher and use metal cables to anchor the flue, maybe get a better cowl, as well. I have sent him off to investigate.”

“Had my first walk today. Down the street and into the pristine, paradisiacal terrain. I am specking routes for your visit. Rich and vibrant landscape, accompanied by abundant bird song. By chance, I walked past the house of a German couple (the only other non-indigenous people in the village), whom I had been told about. I didn't know where they lived. But they were sitting in the garden and didn’t look very Portuguese. So, I called over to them to ask. They speak English. Oh joy!”

“Deluged with deliveries and can’t find anyone to put the stuff together. Well, that’s not quite true, there is an old carpenter. But he can’t read and it will be an issue following assembly instructions. Frustrating. Also, I think there is a gas leak from a corroded metal pipe I spotted behind the stove. Faint smell of gas. Gas turned off when not in use, until resolved.”

“A lorry arrived with my sofa, armchair and rugs, delivered to ‘the curbside’, except I don’t have one. It's a tiny road and goods can’t be dumped there. So I asked the strapping driver if I could pay him to bring them in for me. He agreed. Just as well the packaging was excessive. He dragged, heaved and shoved the sofa, flipping it end to end over several times to mount the steps to the front door. Expected damage but thankfully, there wasn’t any. Would have got the same service had I paid 80 Euros to officially deliver into the house! The sofa is in the hall (along with it’s counterpart, the armchair) in a state of partial undress, until I can get someone to put on the legs. Looks like a palava, so I am not going to attempt. I will ask the electrician to do it on his next visit.”

“Drove into the local town today to find the home appliances store, to purchase fridge number 2. Fridge number 1 was eventually refunded, minus 100 Euros (as it was now officially second hand) and I had to pay for the collection (as well as the original delivery). So expensive for me. But my well being is more important. One of three elderly brothers who own the shop, was not best pleased when I asked him to plug in suitable fridge, so I could hear the sound. The shop was noisy, so I couldn’t make an accurate assessment but at least it didn’t sound like a car starting up, like the other one did. I bought it. Delivered this afternoon. Makes a crackling noise when the motor is on, but not too bad and doesn’t have the vibrational hum I could feel in my body like the previous one, which made me feel sick. We will co-exist. Delivery man (also a technician) examined the oven, pulled it out, grunted a lot and took it back to the shop for closer inspection.”

“Electrician is coming tomorrow to replace ALL the light fittings which were either bust, naff or so eco they took half an hour to warm up. Fly screens are being fitted the day before you arrive, on windows and doors that don’t have them. All will all be fine by the time you come – I hope! Went to town to find out about the oven. Was informed the required parts are discontinued. De-rigour in a world of planned obselescence! So, bought a new electric cooker, and a gas hob for good measure (plumber tested the corroded pipe and said it wasn’t leaking, so maybe the old hob was? Not taking any chances). Delivery tomorrow.”

Heroic buxom lady from across the road brought me an armful of kale and loads of lettuces today. I gesticulated that a couple of lettuces would be fine but she insisted I took all eight of them. So kind. I will be living on lettuce for a while, as another old woman in the village also brought me lettuce, plus eggs and home-made sausages. I almost cried. Unexpected and so generous. Still sleeping on the floor as the futon mattresses have not arrived, despite constant promises by the seller. I have bought you a self-inflating camping mat, as a back up.”

“Nina is having her own challenges. She was very stressed during the journey, spent most of the time crying, which was distressing for me and distracting. Then stress being in a strange place and very disoriented. Had to leave her in the kitchen on her own, while delivery van driver brought my boxes into the house. Later found her hiding in the tray at the bottom of the wood burner. She emerged a darker shade of smokey grey, as she was covered in soot! My plan had been to only allow her out on a harness and lead for short walk, for the first two days. (We practised at the previous place). First walk was early evening on arrival day. Didn’t get very far as she was interested in everything. Everything was an unidentifiable new smell! Then buxom lady who lives opposite appeared (name is Clotilde and she has turned out to be a saint). Nina was startled and began to panic. I picked her up but she leapt out of my arms, twisted, slipped her harness, and was off. SHI---T! My instinct was she would not go far and would be able to find her way back. So, for the next hour I kept whistling and calling her, and visualising her return. Huge huge sigh of relief when she appeared trotting down the gully between my house and the barn next door. Next few walks belt and braces. Collar, as well as the harness, clipped together. Walks passed without incident.

After familiarising with the house, she was less stressed and begged to go solo outside. So, I opened the door and let her out. Since then, she has been establishing her territory (including on the roof!) and doing a warrior queen impression, chasing off intruders, including a ginger cat that had the nerve to come into the house. I did a double take when his head appeared around the door of my office. There is also a black tom who I found cheekily sunning himself on the patio, after spraying the door. Well, it would have been rude not to! Despite washing the door several times, the smell took three days to go. The next day, he made his case emphatically, by doing his business on the patio! Nina ‘growls’ when there is danger and, between us, we have chased him off several times. She is getting braver and he is getting the message.”

“A lovely scene each evening - the shepherd bringing her sheep through the village. About 9 pm as the sun is setting and the sky glowing shades of pink and red, you can hear sheep bells in the distance. The ringing increases as they approach. Old lady, wearing a sun hat leads the flock, limping with a walking stic, and a man in a tiny battered car, plus two massive Portuguese sheep dogs (St Bernard size), bring up the rear. A marvelous sight, only downside is the pooh all over the road which you have to navigate carefully until it’s dry the next day.”

“As I type, the electrician is putting together the remaining items of furniture. My hero! Furniture looked lovely on line but you need a PHD to assemble the stuff. I did a few easier items myself and it nearly drove me crazy.”

“Tired of buying things and fighting fires now. There are still jobs to do but, apart from sorting the boiler flue, nothing is urgent. Finally, after 5 nomadic years, I have a place I can call home (albeit short'ish term). I am looking forward to getting back to searching for land for the Earth Collective, which is where my heart lies, and my true long-term home.”

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